14 Things You Never Knew
by AvidAkiraReader
Summary: Fourteen chapters worth of humor and experimenting...Will you enter the madness that was created in my head? Q: Do you think Sheik is hot? How hot?
1. Q: Snake and Saki?

**14 Things You Never Knew**

**By AvidAkiraReader**

**Everything belongs to their rightful owners, and will for the rest of this fanfiction.**

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><p>Q: <em>Have you ever read a SnakeSaki fic? Do you want to?_

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><p>A mercenary was shoved into a room the same time a Ruffian was dragged kicking and yelling. The mercenary was the infamous Snake, who was snarling at Master Hand in various languages. He wasn't dressed in his sneaking suit, because he was unfortunately playing a casual game of chess with Mewtwo, who claimed the suit disrupted his skills. So Snake was in a shirt and shorts, unarmed except for his fists.<p>

But even his fists wouldn't stop a stubborn Hand.

On the other side of the room, Saki was vainly trying to shoot the sibling of Master Hand with his gun. Still in a yellow shirt and shorts, Saki Amamiya cursed in a foreign language before slamming the butt of gun/sword into Crazy's thumb. With a yelp, Crazy gallantly (if you want to be insane) still dragged the half-mad Ruffian in.

"Alright, Crazy, let 'em loose!" Master Hand called out, before swiftly departing with his insane brother. They locked the doors soon after.

Snake brushed his shoulder off before glaring at the shut door with a murderous glance. Walking over to the blonde Assist Trophy, Snake pulled the teenager up with a grunt. "You okay?" He asked, not really minding if he was injured.

Saki answered scathingly. "Yeah, I'm _great, _Snake." The retired mercenary rolled gray eyes before walking away from the irritated blonde to inspect a door. "Why the heck am I here with _you_?"

Instead of replying, Snake kicked the door to see if it would bend. Of course, Snake got a bruised toe. Snarling in Russian at the metal door, Snake looked around the room to see what else was there. "Because _kid_, you either did something really bad, I did something really bad, or Master Hand was surfing Internet again for memes." Saki blinked at the last word, and his green eyes went blank.

"Memes?"

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><p>A: <em>Heck yes. And now I've created one.<em>

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><p><strong>Welcome to <strong>**14 Things You Never Knew****, something to keep my mind off ****100 Smashin' Ways****. Now, you know those meme things where you include a list of people you like from a fandom, and you answer questions about them? Well, I decided my profile was full enough without this in, so this was incorporated into a story. Oh yes, you can figure out the list for yourself! (Just kiddin', I'll post the list on the final, fifteenth chapter if this gets that far. Now, all that matters is…**

**Did ya like it? It doesn't matter if you don't, because this is fun to write! ;D**


	2. Q: Sheik

**14 Things You Never Knew**

**By AvidAkiraReader**

**Everything belongs to their rightful owners.**

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><p>Q: <em>Do you think Sheik is hot? How hot?<em>

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><p>A thin, feminine (or so everyone tells me) figure crashed into a muscled chest with a curse spilling out behind a tattered cowl. Looking up with infuriated red eyes, she glared at a pair of curious ones. He raised an aristocratic blue eyebrow at her, and she sniffed beneath the piece of cloth that hid a slight blush.<p>

What?

She was a hopeless romantic at times…Maybe all the time, in secret.

Picking herself up with dignity, Sheik brushed off her arms of imaginary dust. The blue outfit she was wearing was most likely going to get ripped by the burly man's golden sword, Ragnell. She knew from experience that the man, Ike she reminded herself, enjoyed the bloodless brawls they held in the Manse.

She could probably ch—

Oh no.

Oh _hell _no they did not just kill her transformation powers.

With a hidden snarl, she turned to look at Ike, who was still bemusedly standing there. Greil raised a heavy blue eyebrow at the frustrated Sheikah.

"…Why are we doing this, and why are _you_ here?" Sheik hissed at the warrior, trying to dig up a few (blunted) needles. Zelda had confiscated the sharp ones days after Sheik 'accidentally' threw one at Olimar's most she could do is at least knock him out…mercilessly, she supposed. When she turned up empty handed, she dug in her shoes for her chain. If she could disarm him and quickly jab a hand at his _throat_…

Out of her peripheral vision, Ike shrugged in a blissfully oblivious manner, then look at her with a question in his eyes. "I was drafted. How 'bout you?" He shot back, raising Sheik's irritation.

"Drafted? What in Din's name do you mean _drafted_?" Ike shrugged to Sheik's dismay, and her head slumped.

"Oh well, at least you're a chick…right?"

"GREIL!"

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><p>A: <em>If Sheik was a girl…she's considerably nice-looking. If Sheik was a guy…Eh. I'll just answer it as 'mysterious dude' hot.<em>

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><p><strong>So either your considerably disappointed that I've been slacking off 100 Smashin' Ways, or that this story is just weird. It would help cut down my ego if you said 'just weird'. Also...What's an OTP?<strong>

**Read and enjoy!**


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